Returning Home

You may feel that you want to return home but are unsure how to get there.

It’s important to note: If the agency you’re working with transported you to Utah, they are required by law to send you home at no financial cost to you. If you want to return home, know that the route home provided to you by the agency may not be comfortable or simple. While you may have been transported to Utah on a nonstop flight, on your way back, they may only offer a cheap bus ticket or a plane ticket with several layovers. While this is certainly inconvenient and may feel retaliatory, the most important thing is that you and your children get home safely. 

Communicating with the adoption worker about your desire to change your mind and return home can be intimidating. You can copy our prewritten scripts below to help make the situation easier for you. It is always recommended that you have conversations in writing whenever possible. If the adoption worker is telling you that they prefer to speak over the phone, you can simply say, “I will be communicating with you solely via text or email at this time.” Should you agree to have a conversation over the phone or in person, Utah law allows you to record the conversation with only one party’s consent (that party being you).

Even if you get home and want to wash your hands of the experience, never delete emails, text messages, or call records. Keep everything saved for your own protection. Further, always request copies of any paperwork that you may have signed.

Text or Email Scripts for Communicating with the Adoption Agency

NOTIFYING THE AGENCY OF YOUR DESIRE TO PARENT

I have carefully considered my options and have decided to return home as I now desire to parent my child. Could you please provide me with the necessary information and assistance to arrange my return? Thank you in advance for your cooperation.

NOTIFYING THE AGENCY OF YOUR DESIRE TO RETURN HOME

I have decided that I desire to return home. Please arrange my departure. I wish to depart on [Preferred Date]. Please let me know how we can proceed.

RESPONDING TO A TEXT ABOUT PAYING BACK LIVING EXPENSES MONEY

As provided by Utah Code Ann. § 76-7-203, living expenses must be given as an act of charity. When I received living expenses, I was intending to place my child for adoption. However, I have now changed my mind. I no longer want to choose adoption. I want to parent, which I have a right to do.

NOTIFYING HOSPITAL WORKERS OF YOUR CHANGED DECISION

I no longer want the adoption agency worker to visit me in the hospital. I would like to revoke my authorization to give them my medical records and allow them in this room. Please help me with the necessary arrangements to make this happen. I would like to parent my child. Please help me find resources to successfully do this.

NOTIFYING THE ADOPTIVE PARENTS AND/OR ADOPTION WORKER ABOUT YOUR HOSPITAL PLAN

After carefully considering my options, I have decided that I do not wish to have anyone from the agency, or the adoptive parents, in the delivery room with me. I would like to spend some time with my baby and give myself the right amount of time and space to make a good decision. Thank you for understanding.

RESPONDING TO ONGOING MESSAGES FROM YOUR ADOPTION WORKER

Per our conversation on [Date], I notified you that I had changed my mind about proceeding with adoption and had instead decided to parent my child, a choice that is well within my rights. I ask that you respect this decision and immediately cease contact with me.

RESPONDING TO YOUR AGENCY’S REQUEST FOR UPDATED HOME ADDRESS

Instead of a script, we recommend that you do not respond. We always recommend blocking the number of the Utah adoption worker as soon as you return home.

Tips for Securing Your Privacy Once You Arrive Home

  • Make sure all of your social media accounts are set to private.

  • Talk about what happened with a trusted person in your community or support network.

  • Notify the authorities or a trusted community member immediately if you feel you may be in danger.

  • Block any phone numbers that belong to the Utah adoption workers.